"I'm all in!"
"I call!"
He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in dis­gust. It's not that I got out­played. That doesn't piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark pas­sen­ger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It's like I am two peo­ple. On the one hand, I am a respon­si­ble father and hus­band. Patient, cre­ative and fru­gal. On the other hand, I am an aggres­sive poker player - impa­tient, impul­sive and some­times reckless.
Okay, maybe my com­par­i­son to Dex­ter is an exag­ger­a­tion. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.
I have the same con­ver­sa­tion every time I go to the casino. "Today I am going to play tight. No fish­ing. Only play posi­tion. Fold draws when I don't have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don't go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most impor­tantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!" I look in the mir­ror. Remind myself that I am in control.
Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christ­mas present. 2 min­utes later, all my chips are in the mid­dle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and con­vince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 sec­onds later.....I am on tilt, call­ing for chips and ready to gam­ble. Just like that, enter my dark pas­sen­ger. It doesn't take long until, I have lost my sec­ond buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and real­ize I have been here for only 75 min­utes. Luck­ily the wall­pa­per on my iPhone is a pic­ture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail dis­ap­pears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.
I am always sur­prised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grate­ful for him as well. I use him as a mea­sure for my per­sonal growth. The day I can take a beat­ing and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of con­scious­ness. It may sound a bit meta­phys­i­cal, but that's one of the rea­sons I play poker.
Why do you play? Let me know by following the link below my name.
"I call!"
He shows me his straight. I muck my 2 pair in dis­gust. It's not that I got out­played. That doesn't piss me off too much. What DOES piss me off is when I make a solid game plan on the way to the casino, but when I get there, my dark pas­sen­ger takes over and the game plan goes out the door. It's like I am two peo­ple. On the one hand, I am a respon­si­ble father and hus­band. Patient, cre­ative and fru­gal. On the other hand, I am an aggres­sive poker player - impa­tient, impul­sive and some­times reckless.
Okay, maybe my com­par­i­son to Dex­ter is an exag­ger­a­tion. After all, its been years since I hacked up some evil dude and threw his body parts in the ocean.
I have the same con­ver­sa­tion every time I go to the casino. "Today I am going to play tight. No fish­ing. Only play posi­tion. Fold draws when I don't have the odds. Go home when I lose my edge. Don't go on tilt when I get a bad beat. And most impor­tantly, FOLD WHEN I KNOW I AM BEAT!" I look in the mir­ror. Remind myself that I am in control.
Then I get to the casino, fast walk to the felt and plop down my chips and eagerly await my first Christ­mas present. 2 min­utes later, all my chips are in the mid­dle. 3 way action and I am on the nut flush draw on the flop. I almost have odds and con­vince myself this is a good spot to get it all in. 30 sec­onds later.....I am on tilt, call­ing for chips and ready to gam­ble. Just like that, enter my dark pas­sen­ger. It doesn't take long until, I have lost my sec­ond buy-in. At this point, I look at my phone and real­ize I have been here for only 75 min­utes. Luck­ily the wall­pa­per on my iPhone is a pic­ture of my son. Instantly I snap back. My horns retract, my fangs retreat, my tail dis­ap­pears and I am myself again. I breath deeply and remind myself that I am not defined by my last hand of poker.
I am always sur­prised when my dark side comes out, but I have come to be grate­ful for him as well. I use him as a mea­sure for my per­sonal growth. The day I can take a beat­ing and shake it off will be the day I have made it to the next level of con­scious­ness. It may sound a bit meta­phys­i­cal, but that's one of the rea­sons I play poker.
Why do you play? Let me know by following the link below my name.
0 comments:
Post a Comment